To quote The Smiths rather than more Shakespeare: I ‘haven’t had a dream in a long time’. Largely because the erratic night time sleeping patterns of a certain little lady aren’t really allowing me to enter that deepest stage of sleep required to do so.
I don’t know what we’ve done wrong. From six weeks until about seven months we had the dream child. We could pretty much count on an unbroken stretch of eight hours’ sleep each night. Things were rosy. We felt human. Things got done around the house. A website even got launched.
There is a light that never goes out
Then what happened? I’m not really sure. There was a cold in there somewhere which didn’t help matters. The clocks changed. Also, she became generally more aware of her surroundings (meaning a terrible weekend’s sleep for one and all at Easter when we went away). She began waking up a few times in the night and needing comforting back to sleep.
Then, around six weeks ago, she decided instead to wake up anywhere between 3.00am and 5.00am and take at least two hours to get back to sleep, completely messing up any semblance of normality in the day, let alone a blessed routine!
Meat is Murder
I spoke to our local health professional who said upping her snacks could help. Poor child – I think she thinks I’m constantly stuffing her full of food, and whilst she’s not aware of the analogy, I can’t help thinking of the ‘gluttony’ part of the film Se7en. Anyway, three days on and a pot belly later, she’s still waking up.
On Sunday came the crunch-point. A two hour session of getting up to try and get her back to sleep between 4.00 and 6.00 was the last straw. Action had to be taken. My husband and I had to actually discuss the problem at a time other than the wee small hours of the morning (not really a great time to discuss anything).
There’s more to life than books you know, but not much more
On Monday, having emptied our local library of anything with the words ‘baby’ and / or ‘sleep’ in the title (including one about 3-8 year olds – that’s how tired I was) I read up while she happily amused herself bashing some stacking cups together. It turns out we have created far too many ‘sleep cues’ that she now needs to get back to sleep and she needs to learn to self-settle again. (presumably she could do this between six weeks and seven months of age!).
Sing me to sleep
The books also suggested the controversial method of controlled crying or letting her ‘cry it out’. This is something that my head tells me is a great idea, but my heart really struggled with. Every ounce of me wants to hug and comfort her whenever she’s upset or distressed. But no, I had to be strong.
Except here’s the clincher. She doesn’t wake up crying! She wakes up in the night wide awake and ready to play. She sings. She rolls. She practices crawling. She plays a merry tune on the bars of her cot. And generally she has a lark! It’s usually around 40 minutes to an hour of this before she even starts with crying which we can allegedly then ‘control’. All this makes for two very sleepy parents, only one of whom can have the odd daytime nap to try and catch up!
We’re now on day three of no sleep cues and controlled crying. Last night she didn’t even cry but self settled, albeit she was awake twice (I blame the rain for the first time. It woke me up!). We shall see what happens on night time number three tonight. Watch this space!
So please, please, please, let me get what I want – sleep. Lord knows it would be the first time…..in a long time.
Do you have any suggestions that have helped get your children to sleep better? What sleep cues do you use or have you had to abandon?
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